A Tangled Web
by victoriantealady
Summary: Tony discovers a shattering secret about his parents.


A TANGLED WEB

_Tony discovers a shattering secret about his parents_

PROLOGUE

At NCIS trouble had been brewing for a while now between Special Agent Tony DiNozzo and Director Leon Vance. Then things between Tony and Ziva had finally self-destructed when Ziva realized that she was drawn to Damon Werth. Tony was her partner and friend but she had felt it would never be more than that between them. Too complicated.

Then, one day almost four weeks ago Tony left for England to help an ailing, unknown relative. He had been gone for about a week and a half. When he returned to NCIS Vance had called him into his office for a closed door meeting which had lasted close to an hour. When the meeting was over Tony exited the office and left immediately. Gibbs had been out of the office at the time and so wasn't able to speak with DiNozzo before he left.

When Gibbs returned to headquarters Vance had then called him up to his office to inform him that DiNozzo would no longer be Senior Field Agent. That was McGee's position now. DiNozzo was being removed from the MCRT altogether; that he had been fired. Gibbs had been told it was because of conduct unbecoming an agent and no one on the team seemed to miss Tony at all. No matter what Gibbs had said or how much he argued there was no reversing the decision. SecNav himself had supported Vance and his decision.

That had been almost three weeks now and Gibbs had yet to hear from Tony despite all the messages he had left on his phone and answering machine.

Something was very wrong with DiNozzo and Gibbs needed to find out what.

It was Friday night and someone knocking on the apartment door but the occupant ignored it; not really hearing it at all. The knock came again. "DiNozzo, are you up? I'm coming in." With that, a key was placed in the lock, the door opened, and Leroy Jethro Gibbs entered quietly. He just as quietly shut the door. Now, Gibbs was a quiet man overall, but this was the silence of concern.

"Tony?" Gibbs called in a soft voice. No response. "Tony?" he repeated. Tony just sat slumped on the couch in his apartment and stared at the almost empty bottle of scotch in his hand. His cloths were rumpled, he was unshaven and his hair was uncombed. Gibbs had never seen him in this state even after an all nighter in a bar.

In front of Tony on the coffee table were a few pictures Gibbs had never seen scattered with random papers. What really drew Gibbs attention and caused his breath to hitch was the gun held loosely in Tony's other hand.

After a minute Gibbs sat carefully down next to Tony, but Tony, still staring unseeing at the pictures, didn't seem to notice.

"Tony, hey, DiNozzo!" Gibbs said in a slightly louder voice. "Talk to me DiNozzo. What's wrong?" Gibbs asked worriedly.

After a slight moment, Tony lifted his head up and looked his boss in the eyes. Gibbs was shocked. Tony's eyes were red-rimmed and almost sunken and his skin was pale. But what worried Gibbs the most was the dull, flat look in his eyes.

"Tony, give me the gun and talk to me. Please Tony. Tell me what's wrong. Please." Gibbs repeated, "give me the gun and talk to me."

"It's a long story, boss." Tony finally replied still keeping the gun.

"Got plenty of time, DiNozzo" was all Gibbs said. He then settled himself down into the couch to listen but the story he ended up hearing was absolutely nothing like what he had expected to hear.

Tony finally moved a back in the seat still staring at the bottle of scotch in one hand and the gun in the other and started to speak in a soft, flat voice. "As you know, a solicitor from England contacted me about a bone marrow transplant. A relative on my mother's side, a young boy about 5 years old. The attorney told me that when no one in England matched the family expanded their search to here in America because of my mother."

"I asked who these relatives were. I had never realized there was anyone else beside cousin Crispin. I was told the family didn't want to share personal information at this time. If I wasn't a match or something came up that would make the transplant impossible they wouldn't be able to handle having known me. They felt that it would be a constant reminder of their battle to save their son and after everything the family had gone through it would be impossible to for them to cope with it."

"I didn't hesitate to get tested even though what I had heard sounded very odd to me. I just thought that since I had never had kids I would never know how I would have responded, maybe the same way, I don't know…" Tony paused and Gibbs looked for any sign of emotion in Tony's eyes but found none.

"I was a perfect match."

Tony was silent for a moment. "The solicitor assured me that my expenses would be covered. I told the him that I didn't want money, I just wanted to help."

"Anyways, the solicitor, a Mr. Robert Fulton, merely wished to reassure me that the Paddington's were appreciative of my sacrifice and they did not want me to suffer monetary deprivation as a result."

Tony paused for a moment then continued his story. "Mr. Fulton made my flight and lodging arrangements. When he called with the details he let me know that there was a revival type cinema near where I was lodging and several fine Italian restaurants nearby. He knew how much I loved movies and picked the hotel for that reason."

"I was getting an uncomfortable feeling about how much they seemed to know about me but kept my suspicions to myself. After I had checked into the hospital and had gotten settled in Mr. Fulton came to see me just to make sure I was fine, he said. I asked again about my relatives."

"I told Mr. Fulton straight out that I didn't know of any other relative other than Uncle Clive, now deceased, and Cousin Crispin, who I still owed an arm and a leg to. As far as I knew my mother had no other siblings and my English grandparents were dead a long time ago. The solicitor said the parents just couldn't handle knowing me in person if their son died. It would be a constant reminder of how close to success they had come. The strain of everything had been overwhelming and this was the only way they could cope right now."

"I thought about it and it kinda made sense to me; I mean it's not like I have any experience in happy families or kids or anything. Not that the current circumstances were happy but you know what I mean. But, you know, it still bothered me a little how much about me everyone seemed to know considering we had never met."

Tony paused a moment, absently rubbing the gun against his thigh, then continued. "Well, everything went smoothly. I was back in my room in no time. I rested and dozed a lot and in the evening someone came to my room."

"I must have looked like I was sleeping. Anyway, this person, a woman, came in very quietly. I could tell she wasn't a nurse by the expensive scent she wore and I could also tell she was very nervous by the way she was breathing. A man was with her."

"The first two people turned to the door just as someone else came into the room and spoke softly to them telling them they shouldn't be there in my room and that they should leave. It was a woman's voice.." Tony voice began to falter "and when she spoke I, I, …..I recognized…..I couldn't believe…." Tony's head dropped to his chest and the dull look in his eyes was instantly replaced with a heart-breaking combination of grief and almost unendurable pain. There was a sheen of tears sealing the look in his eyes and magnifying it. It was the look of a broken man. Tony couldn't continue.

Gibbs waited silently for a moment then gently placed his hand on DiNozzo's shoulder. There was no response. "Tony?" Gibbs queried gently. "Tony, who was the last person? Tell me, please."

Tony struggled for a while with his emotions and Gibbs just sat there waiting. In all the years they had been together he had never seem his agent, his friend, someone he look upon in his private moments as a incorrigible younger brother so broken.

Tony had faced unbelievable situations and danger, loss of coworkers, friends and loved ones, had been injured more times than Gibbs wanted to remember, had even had and beaten the plague and never could Gibbs remember him this hurt and broken. He couldn't begin to think who the person was that could do this to his agent.

Finally, Tony drew a small, shuddering breath and without raising his head he whispered in a small, quiet voice: "My mother."

"…..uhhh, what did you say DiNozzo?" was all a stunned Gibbs could say.

"My mother."

Gibbs mind filled with so many questions that he couldn't say anything. Tony's mother died when he was eight. Tony didn't have very many pictures of her, actually almost none. Obviously the ones on the coffee table were those of her. The few he had on the coffee table showed a beautiful woman with green eyes and light, honey brown hair. Tony had gotten his looks from her.

Gibbs had always suspected that Tony's commitment and affection issues had their birth with his mother's death then the subsequent benign neglect from Senior. Issues he was still dealing with over 30 years later.

Gibbs didn't know what to do so he continued sitting next to Tony on the couch in silence and placed a comforting arm around Tony's shoulders and gave a gentle squeeze careful not to make a move for the gun. Hopefully Tony would see if for the support and comfort Gibbs meant the gesture to be. God knows that neither he nor Tony did real feelings very well at all.

"Tony, please listen to me. Are you sure? I mean…" Gibbs stopped when Tony looked up into his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sure boss." Tony paused and once more his voice became flat and emotionless and his eyes stared at nothing at all while he continued.

"I thought I was having some kind of reaction to the medications or something. I mean, come on there was no way; after all my mother died when I was eight. I went and planted flowers on her grave." Tony paused and looked at his now empty bottle of scotch before continuing. "I lay there in shock while they kept talking quietly. I missed a lot of what they were whispering but what I did hear made me realize that the younger couple were the parents."

"They didn't notice that I was awake and looking at them, well, not them but the older woman. Her hair had grey in it and of course there were some wrinkles but I could no longer deny that it was my mother." Tony closed his eyes and dropped his head down into his hands still holding both the gun and empty bottle. After a moment he sat back up his voice still flat and lifeless.

"The mother of the boy had come into my room to see what I looked like. My, er, my mother didn't want her to see me or be around me, I didn't know why. Apparently they had discussed it before I even arrived. They talked some more very quietly while going towards the door but before they reached it I heard the young woman call my mother, mum."

"She was my sister, her husband my brother-in-law and the young boy I was there to help my nephew. I never knew. I honestly never knew. But they sure knew all about me it seemed. And never wanted me near them or involved in any way with them. And I didn't know why." Tony's dull, heartbroken voice fell silent.

Gibbs was a man not very easily shocked or shaken by people or events. He had seen and done too much in his life but the situation facing his senior field agent shook him to the core.

His had never been able to understand people who could ignore or neglect their children (like DiNozzo Senior) and those who hurt or abused them were scum of the lowest order. He felt that a child was a gift to be cherished and loved with all your heart.

But for a mother to do what Tony's had apparently done, let him believe that she was dead and leave him as if he was a thing of no value, that he had never had any place in her heart was one of the most cruel things that he had experienced in a very long time.

The atmosphere in the apartment was thick with the emptiness that had consumed DiNozzo. Gibbs tried again to get Tony to give him the gun. "Tony, give me the gun. I've got you six DiNozzo. Always."

Tony didn't seem to hear Gibbs but after a long moment he reach out a shaking hand and gave Gibbs the gun. Gibbs let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and put the safety on and removed the clip and chambered round.

Then he got up and went into the kitchen to make some coffee and to get Tony something to eat and some tea to drink instead of the alcohol he had apparently been steadily consuming for at least several days. He needed to think.

Tony was not a man to confide his innermost thoughts and feelings. What Gibbs did know Tony had dropped in a joking manner or had come out under the influence of drugs or extreme emotions and even after working together for ten years Gibbs was certain he didn't know the half of it, even after the unpleasant experience of meeting Senior.

Gibbs really wasn't sure what to do in this situation. The only thing he could think of at the moment was to keep listening and giving Tony all the support he could.

After the coffee and tea were done and Gibbs had fixed Tony some toast he went back out into the living room and sat down next to Tony again. Tony didn't even seem to notice that Gibbs had left. After pressing the cup of tea into his hands and placing the toast on the coffee table, Gibbs quietly waited for Tony to begin again.

"I called out to my mother. I couldn't call out very loud; my voice was choked up but they heard me. The younger couple all but ran from the room and my mother paused to look at me." Tony's voice got softer. "She looked at me with a cold, disgusted look then left."

"I tried to get up and follow but a doctor and two orderlies came in and told me I couldn't get out of bed yet. I wasn't going to let that stop me and the doctor told me if I persist in an obviously unhealthy course of action he would have no choice but to sedate and restrain me for my own good."

"I looked at him dumbfounded. I told him that I saw my mother, that I needed to speak with her. I demanded to know what was going on but the doctor wouldn't budge. He kept telling me to calm down, acting like I was hallucinating."

"That's when I lost my temper. I pointed out that if the doctor felt I was unable to make my own decisions that he had to contact my medical proxy and next of kin and that person just happened to be my boss at the investigative federal agency I worked at."

"The doctor paused and looked at me, then seemed to come to a decision. He told me to stay in bed and needed to make a phone call. I did what he asked and after awhile two men came into my room. One was Mr. Fulton the solicitor and the other was an older man. I'd never seen him before." Tony finished drinking the tea and crumbling the toast and went back to his tale.

"Mr. Fulton introduced the other guy as my mother's husband, Lord Arthur Singleton. Lord Singleton just looked at me with complete disgust before he spoke. He told me my mother wanted nothing to do with me; that she had told Lord Singleton about me before they were married. According to Lord Singleton my mother considers me one of her biggest mistakes, the other having had anything to do with my father."

"He said that he had kept track of me over the years to protect my mother. She had made a happy new life for herself and he would let no one, especially me, interfere and hurt her."

"I started to protest; I told him that I had no idea what he was talking about. I refused to believe she would consider me a mistake and that I demanded to speak to her."

"That's when his lordship" Tony sneered "got all icy mad as only English aristocracy can. He chided me for making the mistake of thinking him a fool. He told me to stop playing dumb. He said he knew all about me."

"He said he knew about how Uncle Clive paid me off when I was 17 with the 10,000 pounds so I wouldn't find mother and ruin her new life. How I was positive that the note I signed would never be enforced. He said Cousin Crispin told him all about it after Uncle Clive died."

"He said Mr. Fulton had done a very thorough background investigation on me and they knew all about my, and I quote, "shady past". The reason I left Philly, the debacle, his words not mine, in Baltimore. Being accused of murder three times. Singleton told me that I couldn't honestly expect him to believe me an honest man. It was obvious that I had used my connections in law enforcement to cover my steps but that it would not work this time."

"He had the money and resources to expose me and if I was as smart as I wanted him to think then I would just take the money offered me, leave and never contact my mother or the family ever again. If not then I would have more trouble than I would know what to do with and that no one, including my boss Leroy Jethro Gibbs would be able to cover for me. He said the only reason that he agreed to this arrangement was for his grandson's sake."

"I was beyond speechless at that point. I told him that I didn't know where Mr. Fulton got his information but that I had been cleared beyond a shadow of a doubt of any and all charges. I believed that my mother died when I was eight; I was at her memorial service so I should know! My mother told me all the time she loved me and I loved her even though her drinking scared me."

"I also told him that if Mr. Fulton was so thorough then he should have disclosed that I turned down any money offered to me. I was here to help a child in need, not to be paid for it. And as for Crispin, I had honestly forgotten about the note."

"Lord Singleton listened to me rant with barely concealed contempt. He turned to Mr. Fulton and nodded. Lord Singleton looked at me one more time then he and Mr. Fulton left my room. I just lay there. I didn't know what to think. I couldn't think."

"The next time a nurse came to my room to check my vitals I could see the change in her attitude towards me. The truth was out there so no one had to pretend to be nice anymore. She barely looked at me, didn't say anything and left as quickly as possible."

"It was very late that night when my door opened. I was still awake. My mother came into my room and just looked at me. I didn't know what to believe anymore. I just looked at her, wondering. God, my thoughts were so messed up; _I_ was messed up."

"She told me Lord Singleton had told her about his talk with me and what he had said. All I could ask her was why? Mother looked at me with disgust and said that apparently I hadn't outgrown my annoying tendency to whine."

"All she would say was that she had never loved my father and that being pregnant with me was a mistake. She never wanted me. The only reason she got married in the first place to my dad was to get out of the house and have some fun. Then I came along and ruined it all. She drank, she said, because she liked to and it helped her put up me my father and me."

"When I asked her why she said she loved me all the time she shrugged and said what else was she supposed to say. Her image as a loving mother had to be kept up."

"I don't know why I couldn't believe what she was saying. After all the proof was right in front of me. I lay there with my heart breaking and my soul bleeding out."

"She had the family and status that she always wanted and it didn't matter what I knew or felt since it was obvious that I had this hero streak in me that would not let a child suffer if I could help it no matter what the situation was."

Tony started to shake when he hoarsely whispered: "Spare parts."

"That's all I am to her. Spare parts." Tony slid off the couch and onto the floor and started to rock back and forth slightly, his head on his knees, his arms wrapped around his head as if to ward off the destruction of all his happy memories.

Gibbs was stunned speechless. He didn't think that there were many situations left that had the capacity to both shock and horrify him but this was most definitely one of the worst cases of emotional and mental neglect that he had ever experienced.

Gibbs just didn't know what to do in this situation. Just what exactly could he say to DiNozzo to help him? Gibbs really didn't think there was anything in the world right now that would bring any sort of comfort to Tony.

After a long pause Gibbs sat next to Tony on the floor holding him silently when a thought occurred to him and he spoke.

"DiNozzo? Tony? Can you hear me? Tony?" Gibbs gently prodded Tony to try and get his attention. When Tony raised his head Gibbs reluctantly spoke the thought that had intruded a short while ago.

"What about your dad? Have you talked to him about this?" With those words Tony's head dropped down to his chest and Gibbs felt his gut clench in dread. But all Tony did was indicate with a nod of his head a legal sized brown envelope on the end table that Gibbs had completely missed.

Gibbs hesitated to reach for the envelope but Tony suddenly shifted and reached over for it then gave it to Gibbs indicating without words permission for him to open it and look at the contents.

This small gesture gave Gibbs his first good feeling since before opening the door. It showed him that somehow he was doing something right here and that Tony trusted him. That Tony could trust anyone, much less second-B-for bastard Leroy Jethro Gibbs, with his innermost pain was both humbling and daunting.

Gibbs slowly withdrew the contents which turned out to be legal papers of some kind. On closer inspection Gibbs realized they were divorce papers for Anthony D. DiNozzo, Sr. and Helen A. DiNozzo, nee Paddington drawn up and finalized when Tony was 8.

Gibbs read the documents slowly and stopped altogether when he got to the section that dealt with custody. He couldn't believe what he read. Even after reading it several times he still couldn't grasp the idea that was containing there.

Tony's parents had fought over custody all right, but it wasn't to see who would get him but rather who _wouldn't_. Neither parent had wanted him.

"Oh God, Tony….." was all Gibbs could say. He reached over and drew Tony to his shoulder in an unconscious gesture. At first Tony stiffened then allowed himself to take the comfort the older man offered.

Nothing more was said for a long time. Tony finally raised his head and spoke. "I left the hospital that night. My clothes had been left in the room so I was able to get dressed quickly, right after I disconnected the I.V. and monitors."

"I was not supposed to leave the hospital for a couple of more days but I just couldn't take anymore. I had to get out. As soon as I got back to the hotel I packed up and checked out. I got to Heathrow Airport in the early morning hours and secured a ticket to New York. I paid for everything."

"When I got to New York I went to the last address I had for dad but he wasn't there and hadn't been for a couple of years. But the doorman said something very interesting. He said that dad _and his family_ had moved away to the country. A very exclusive part of the country."

"I thought of everything that McGee and I had found out about dad when he visited me; about how he was supposed to be broke. So I asked the doorman a few questions saying I was a relative from out of town."

"He didn't even question me. It appears that there are a lot of relatives that visited. People like daughter and son-in-laws, grandkids, cousins….just one, big, freakin' rich happy family. The doorman let slip that dad and his wife had been profiled in the society section lots of times. How could we have missed that? Me, yea. McGee? No way."

"So I did the one thing no one would suspect me of…I went to the library and looked up the society section of the Times in their archives. I found them. Oh, God, I am so stupid…."

"Tony, take it easy. Rest a while. Come on DiNozzo, just rest." Gibbs interrupted but Tony shook his head no without raising his head. "If I stop now I'll never finish boss." He said softly his flat voice in contrast with his tightly controlled emotions.

Tony continued.

"From what I read I put together a timeline and figured out that dad married this one several years after mom died…..left, whatever. He had kids with her. Three girls and two boys They divorced. Played around with others. Drank. Got married again. Stopped drinking. Divorced again. Finally married for good around the time I was in Philly. Been married since. Kids grew up, went to good schools, got good business jobs, married good society, had kids; dad's grandkids-a total of 12 in all."

"Dad really is rich. Got his corporations from the wife's side and kept that name and registration. The information McGee found was a shell to protect my dad from any unwanted inquiries like mine. After I stopped at the library, I went to a cyber café and used some techniques I've learned over the years. I found a thread and went with it. Eventually I found dad's new address in the Hamptons."

"I went there to see him. I saw him alright as well as his wife and some of his family. He was at a restaurant after a football game for one of his grandsons. He could never come to my games or any school functions. He never came whenever I was injured or dying. I was the one who usually called him. God, I wanted him to be in my life so bad!"

Gibbs tightened his hold on Tony's shaking shoulders.

"When they came out of the restaurant I was standing there waiting. The look on dad's face. He came over to me to keep me from getting too close to the others. All I could say was why? He didn't even try to pretend to misunderstand me."

"He said because he really loves them. He said he tried to love me but it just wasn't in him so he did the next best thing and tried to give me the best opportunities with schooling. He cared about me, wanted me to succeed but he just couldn't give more. That, and his wife just couldn't deal with another woman's child."

"He felt I should give him some credit for trying to protect me from that at least."

"I just couldn't talk coherently. I just couldn't think through the pain in my heart and soul. I became more upset and asked him if he had any idea what he and mom did to me? What about that? He was sorry if I was hurt but he couldn't control that."

"He said that he could tell when he visited me that I had friends who cared for me and a job that I loved so I would be alright. I reminded him when he visited me he was supposed to be broke-what about that? What about the money I fronted up to help him out? Why exactly did he visit me in the first place? For God's sake, why did he tell me he loved me-twice?"

Shaking his head Tony continued his heartbreaking tale.

"As he turned to leave I demanded to know the truth about mom. I told him that I had seen her! Demanded to know if he could just imagine the shock of finding out she was alive! He just looked at me and said fine but not to blame him if what I found out was not what I wanted to learn."

"He gave me the name of a lawyer and said to go there the next day. He would call ahead and tell him to give me some papers that would explain things. Then he said it was mom's idea to let me think she died. Only Uncle Clive disagreed. He liked me. That's why Crispin is being so hard about me paying back the money. Seems dad knew about that all along too."

"Dad turned and left me standing there and never looked back. He never answered my questions either."

"I went to the lawyer's office the next day and the receptionist had the package all ready for me. I took it and left. I didn't open it then. Honestly, I was afraid to.

Before I left I went one more place. Mom's grave. I looked at the headstone. I still couldn't believe what my life had become in only a week. I couldn't decide if it was tragedy or farce. Probably both. I had a camera with me that I had brought to England hoping to get pictures of these unknown relations so I got that and took pictures of mom's gravestone. I don't know why I felt the need to I just did."

"I went to New York City to fly out of LaGuardia but before I left I went back to the library in their archives and copied everything I could find about mom and dad and realized there was no obituary.

Then I got the idea to go to the records division and look to see if there was a death certificate officially on file but there wasn't. But I had a copy of one that dad had as well as a copy of their marriage license and my birth certificate. I copied them years ago when I went to college. I had that and some other important papers in a safety deposit box that I kept in Baltimore for safe keeping."

Tony clutched his legs harder and started rocking back and forth more. The shaking in his hands had spread to tremors in his whole body and Gibbs knew he couldn't continue much longer. Tony was at the end of his endurance and was about to collapse.

"I can't sleep, can't eat, can't stop thinking." He moaned. "Then I came back and walked right into that meeting with Vance and SecNav."

"I was blindsided by Vance's accusations of misconduct and conduct unbecoming an agent. And it was McGee who placed the accusation. McGee! Vance claimed to have followed thru thoroughly and proved my guilt overwhelmingly."

"Therefore, it had been decided that I am no longer good enough for the MCRT and NCIS overall. No matter how I argued my innocence. Reminded them of my record-my clearance percent, convictions upheld in court, the fact that in the end I helped get the bad guy. It just didn't matter."

Tony looked up at Gibbs with a hopeless, grief-filled expression. "I don't matter. I don't fit into the vision of the new NCIS. SecNav himself told me that while the things I had done in the past were commendable, my lack of technological know-how coupled with the constant complaints and comments regarding my overall behavior and maturity level made me more of a liability than an asset."

"This last complaint against me was the last straw. It was time to let Vance have full rein in molding the makeup of the response teams to better reflect the new direction. Almost a direct quote there."

"After SecNav hung up Vance told me to hand in my gun and badge and that my clearance had already been revoked and my codes changed. Then he called security and had me escorted out. That's when I ran into McGee and Ziva. They just looked at me and the security guys"

"I asked them what was going on-what did I do? Ziva snorted and said, fine if that's how I wanted to play this game. Then they told me about emails that I was supposed to have sent not only them but others as well."

"I was, I dunno, kinda surprised but mostly stunned and hurt that they could think I would try to cause the kind of hurt in their families and lives that I was feeling. I told them that. I gave them my word but McGee just cut me off."

"Then before I could say another word Fred the security guard and Hamilton from Procedures came out. They made it more than clear they couldn't stand me and told me to stop bothering federal agents on duty. Then they asked McGee and Ziva if they were alright. They smiled, thanked them for their concern and went back inside."

"Fred kicked me off the grounds. I tried to speak to him; we always exchanged small talk and played on the softball team together but he just told me to can it. He didn't want to hear anything I had to say and that I had done enough. McGee was twice the agent I was and more of a gentleman than I could ever pretend to be. I just couldn't speak anymore. I just looked at him and turned and got in my car and left."

"When did I become such a bad person boss? What is it about me? Why doesn't anyone believe me?"

"I'm going to be sick." Tony said in a strangled voice.

And with that Tony lurched to his feet and with Gibbs help got to the bathroom barely in time to empty his already empty stomach even more. The condition of the bathroom told Gibbs that there were several times that Tony didn't make it all the way.

After Tony was done he had collapsed onto the floor in an exhausted heap. Gibbs sat on the edge of the tub and realized that he had no clue what to do right now. It was too much to take in. The he thought that if he was having such a hard time grasping the scope of pain DiNozzo was experiencing because of the selfish, self-centered worthless pieces of scum (Vance included) that he had been exposed to then what in God's name was Tony feeling?

He had so much to think about that it was hard to prioritize but looking at DiNozzo he realized that the most important thing was to get Tony settled somehow.

He needed Ducky.

"Tony can you hear me? Hey, Tony?" Gibbs asked gently placing a hand on DiNozzo's shoulder. After what seemed far too long Tony barely nodded. "I want to call Ducky, Tony. Are you o.k. with that? You know you can trust him DiNozzo. Is it alright?"

Again, after a long pause Tony nodded and Gibbs took out his cell phone and called Ducky right from the bathroom. Ducky picked up on the second ring. "Duck, it's me. I need you at Tony's apartment as soon as possible and bring your bag. Door will be open."

Gibbs hung up and told Tony "Ducky will be here in 20 minutes. How about we go back into the living room and you sit on the couch? Come on Tony, let's go wait there." Anyone of Gibbs subordinates and acquaintances would never have know that Leroy Jethro Gibbs had it in him to sound as compassionate and concerned as he did just then.

20 minutes later there was a knock on the door then Dr. Donald Mallard walked in. He took in the scene with just a cursory glance and went straight to the couch where Tony was hunched over and slightly to the side against Gibbs. Gibbs was gently holding Tony and rubbing his hand up and down Tony's arm in an effort to sooth him with very little luck.

"Well now, Anthony let's have a look at you shall we? Is that alright with you?" Ducky spoke in his normal, gentle voice and waited until Tony acknowledged his presence and gave his consent. Gibbs began to move out of the way when Tony clutched at his shirt convulsively, wanting his presence and needing his reassurance.

"That's quite all right Anthony, I shall do very well as we are. Now I've warmed the stethoscope and wish to listen to your chest." The exam continued in a quite, efficient manner with Ducky listening to Tony's lungs and heart, taking his blood pressure and temperature and soothing him with a rambling, mindless story.

For his part, Tony seemed to have gone into shock and was almost mindlessly obedient to Ducky's gently spoken instructions and requests. While Ducky was performing the exam he glanced at Gibbs several times conveying his deep concern for Tony and his desire to know exactly what had happened to put him in this state.

After a short while Ducky was done. "Well Anthony, I have seen you in better shape but not to worry, Jethro and I will have you better in no time. In the meantime I would like you to take a warm shower while I fix you some soup. I know you may not feel like eating right now but it is most important that you at least try. Then after your shower you should lay down and rest for a while."

Ducky and Gibbs waited for a moment for Tony to acknowledge Ducky's words and instructions in some way but he didn't so both men proceeded with the course of action laid out. Ducky went into the kitchen to heat up the can of soup he had thoughtfully packed in his medical bag while Gibbs gently nudged Tony off the couch and into the bathroom. After a moment Ducky heard the water going and went to check on Tony.

Gibbs was standing by to help Tony if he needed it but also to give him the reassurance that he was not alone. Ducky nodded to Jethro who mouthed "later." Ducky nodded and left.

After a short while Tony was done, dried, and dressed with Gibbs' help and sitting at his kitchen table slowly eating the soup Ducky had prepared. The normally hungry, athletically graceful man was reduced to slow, hesitant movements. If Gibbs didn't encourage DiNozzo to keep eating he would never have finished even the one bowl of soup did eat.

When he was finished Ducky spoke to him. "Now, Anthony, I would very much like to give you a mild sedative to help you get the sleep you so desperately need. I know how much you dislike medications like this but I truly believe that it would be a great help to you and you wouldn't be alone, you know. Both Jethro and I will remain here by your side until you awake. We would never leave you vulnerable Anthony. You are too important to us…"

All Tony did at those words was look at Ducky with empty eyes for a moment then nod his permission. After Ducky administered the shot Gibbs helped Tony to his bedroom then helped get him dressed in sleep clothes and into bed. As promised both Gibbs and Ducky stayed by Tony's bed until he fell asleep then quietly left the room, leaving the door slightly open.

Back in the living room Ducky looked around no longer hiding his shock at the situation. "Dear God, Jethro, what has happened to Anthony to reduce him to such a state! When I think of the various dangerous situations he has faced with courage and his trademark quips and humor I can't begin to imagine what it is that has had such an affect on him! You do know, don't you?" Ducky looked around at the filthy apartment and thought of Tony' state when he had arrived and shook his head.

Gibbs proceeded to fill Ducky in on the situation as he had learned it earlier. Ducky was speechless. While the two older men were quietly talking they cleaned up the apartment as best as they could without waking Tony. When they were done talking and cleaning Gibbs put on a kettle of water for Ducky and a pot of coffee for himself. Each man silently man their drink of choice and sat just as quietly at the kitchen table each lost in thought.

"In all my time I have indeed seen the cruelty both physical and mental that one human being is capable of unleashing on another. Even though I know intellectually there are bound to be situations that would still have the power to surprise and shock me it causes me tremendous grief to know that one of those situations is happening to someone I care deeply about." Ducky looked deep into his cup of tea as if the comfort and help that Tony needed could be found there.

"I know Duck. I know. What I don't know is how I am going to be able to help Tony through this. The one thing he has always had is work. It's what he does best. It's who he is. And now thanks to Vance and his damn agenda it looks like Tony really doesn't have that anymore. Not really." Gibbs growled in frustration.

"Yes, I had heard of what the director had done to Tony. It is all over NCIS. I wouldn't be surprised if it was Vance himself who spread it about. But I was most distressed and shocked at the role Timothy and Ziva played in the recent events." Ducky said before lapsing once more into thought.

Ducky got up and quietly went to check on Tony and when he saw that he was still asleep he went back to the kitchen and sat down.

"After some thought Jethro I believe the first priority is to look after Tony. I really don't think he should be left alone this weekend. He needs lots of sleep and he really needs to eat nourishing foods, none of which you are unaware of. I will of course be there to help take shifts if necessary and I believe Mr. Palmer would be more that glad to help as well especially since his girlfriend is out of town at an embalmers convention; however, until the situation is more stabilized I don't think anyone else should know, especially with the situation at work."

"What about Abby, Ducky?" Gibbs asked.

Ducky thought about that for a moment then spoke. "I believe that until Tony is more emotionally stable that Palmer's quiet demeanor would be more beneficial at this stage. Once that happens then that is where our dear Abigail and her staunch support of the man she thinks of as her older brother would be best served…." Ducky paused when Gibbs cell rang.

"Gibbs" he growled into the phone. Gibbs was silent for a minute listening to the voice on the other end then snapped "Now?." He listened for a minute more then snapped: "Fine, I'll be there in 20" and hung up.

"Damn! Vance wants me in the office now but I'll be back just as soon as I'm done. I'll talk to Palmer and Abby too while I'm there and pick up some Chinese on the way back."

"That sounds like an excellent plan Jethro. Be sure to pick up that delicious vegetable soup for Anthony and maybe some extra rice to add to it."

"Will do Duck, see you soon and be sure to call if something happens."

Gibbs went to headquarters. He saw that McGee and Ziva were in the bullpen as well as someone Gibbs had seen around the building before but didn't know.

"Hey, boss this is Eric Tremain from Cybercrimes." McGee did the introductions and Gibbs looked at him and didn't like what he saw. Tremain was a man in his early thirties with good build and pleasing looks but his eyes revealed something different. He had a superfluous, condescending air about him. McGee, however, was obviously happy with the new addition and Ziva seemed to accept him easily.

"Boss, I worked with Eric when I was in Cybercrimes. He really knows his way around cyberspace! You should have seen what he did for Abby earlier! It was amazing!" McGee enthusiastically told Gibbs, oblivious to his boss's complete lack of reaction or welcome. "Yes, Gibbs, I too have worked with Eric and find him competent." Ziva added.

Everyone looked at Gibbs and noticed his lack of response. Even his face was blank, more so that usual. The atmosphere became slightly uncomfortable. Gibbs' stance and attitude were challenging.

Finally Gibbs turned slowly to McGee and Ziva and spoke in such a conversational tone that everyone knew just how furious he was.

"That's nice. You gonna tell me just exactly when this cozy bond was formed? I didn't get any call about a case, did you?"

Again the silence stretched out uncomfortably for the McGee and Ziva. Only Tremain seemed unaffected.

Then Tremain spoke, casting down his own unspoken challenge. "I am as aware of your loyalty to Agent DiNozzo, everyone is I suppose, but I believe I am a good agent. I have already developed a good working relationship with my fellow teammates."

Gibbs turned abruptly and stormed up to the director's office and barged in without knocking.

"What's this about my agents working a case without me but with someone from outside the MCRT?" Gibbs demanded to know.

"Agent Gibbs, this won't take long." Vance began without preamble and Gibbs got a very bad feeling in his gut.

"There was a case just after you left on Friday and I took the liberty to call in David, McGee and Tremain and have them work it to see how it went. It went well. It is now Saturday and the case is wrapped up. Everyone played nice together, more than nice. Professional for once. As you know DiNozzo is not coming back; he's been fired."

Vance stood up and continued: "If DiNozzo had put a small portion of the energy he expended to irritate people, if he gave as much thought to his work as he did planning immature practical jokes, and if he had tried as hard to network with the other departments as he did pissing them off this team would be the best on the Hill. He wore out his welcome a long time ago and you can no longer shield him…."

"What about his results LEON, what about the high 90's percent clearance rate?" Gibbs exploded. "What about the people, including agents, that he has helped save? You think he's a useless goof off who comes by his results by accident and not thought or experience?"

"Did you think that about his methods when he got Eli David of all people to confess his scheme? He did that all on his own Leon; no help from you-you were gonna throw him to the wolves! He isn't on my team because I shield him; he is there because he earned it! Over and over again! He has had my back for ten years and there is no one else I would trust than Anthony DiNozzo!"

"And as for wearing out his welcome, just what exactly do you mean by that? Tony was here long before anyone else on the team, excluding me. That includes you and Tremain! If anyone on my team had a problem with someone they should come to me, not you…"

"That's enough, Agent Gibbs!" Vance shouted. "Your team didn't come to you because it's quite obvious that you would do nothing; you condoned it! So now I'm stopping it. SecNav finally agreed with me. DiNozzo's not the only one fired Gibbs."

"You are too."

With that statement Vance sat down angrily and looked at Gibbs. "Eric Tremain is now the Lead Agent in charge. Don't try to contact SecNav; he approved my decision. Your complete lack of computer skills and your unreasoning support of DiNozzo and his antics was the last straw."

"You will of course get the usual severance package or you could retire again. Whichever you prefer you will surrender your badge, gun, and ID immediately. You will be allowed to clean out your desk under security supervision. DiNozzo's childish junk has already been boxed up by Tremain. You can collect that as well when you leave the building."

With that final statement Vance pressed a buzzer on his desk and a security detail entered. When they found out what their assignment was both men were distinctly uncomfortable but went to do as they were told. Gibbs gave a last look at everyone in the room and left without another word.

Down in the bullpen the three agents were chatting animatedly until they saw Gibbs storming down from the director's office with a security detail in tow. They watched wordlessly as Gibbs went to his desk and open a few drawers to remove a few personal items.

Gibbs was spartan in his habits at work and therefore didn't have very many personal items to grab. What he had fit in his pockets. The guards stood by in uncomfortable silence watching him clear out a career's worth of effort in just a few moments.

"Boss?" McGee asked tentatively. "Boss what's going on?"

Gibbs silently closed the last drawer and stood looking at his escort who nodded approval of what he took. Then Gibbs walked past the agents to what used to be Tony's desk and reached behind it for the sealed box containing the remains of Tony's career at NCIS.

Gibbs turned, gave a brief glance up to the balcony where Vance was observing the scene and said: "I've been fired for believing in Tony." Gibbs looked at them a slight moment more, shook his head and left.

The silence that followed was almost physical in its weight on the people in the room. Only Tremain remained unaffected. In fact he looked satisfied. McGee and Ziva on the other hand looked almost in shock.

Vance came down the stairs and addressed the two agents. "Mr. Tremain is now the Lead Agent in charge and will be bringing in someone to make up the forth member of the team. I know that this is a shock but it was time for change."

"The current work situation could no longer be tolerated as you know Agent McGee. You were right to bring me your concerns so please don't feel guilty. Go home for the rest of the weekend. I'll see you on Monday."

With that Vance left the building and went home himself.

Tremain smiled and getting his coat said: "I will see you both at 7:00 on Monday. Have a good weekend. I know I will!" Smiling, he then left.

McGee and Ziva still hadn't moved or spoken since the shocking statement from Gibbs robbed them of all coherent thought.

Before Gibbs left NCIS for good he telephoned Abby and asked her to meet him at the coffee shop down the street. When she arrived Abby enthusiastically greeted Gibbs.

"Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs how are you not that you wouldn't be fine but this sounded like a date over the phone but not a phone date if you know what I mean but a date you make with a phone." Abby paused for breath and Gibbs waited.

"Sobossman, what do you want besides coffee and me?" she giggled.

"Abs, I need to ask you something. It's serious." Gibbs said.

"Sure Gibbs, anything I can help with." Abby replied.

"It's about Tony…" Gibbs got no further than that because at the mention of DiNozzo's name Abby's face changed from happy to serious and disapproving.

"What?" Gibbs barked.

"I know when Tony joined NCIS it took me a while to warm up to him but after I started paying attention to more than that stupid frat boy act I thought I got to see the real DiNozzo and I liked what I saw. I helped with a lot of his pranks even though he seemed to take some of them too far. I've defended him against anyone who spoke down about him but this last stunt of his was just too much, Gibbs. He really embarrassed and hurt McGee. He should never have done it."

"Done what, Abs?" Gibbs asked.

"He sent emails to McGee's parents and sister; some real embarrassing pictures of McGee in different situations at crime scenes. He used some of his names for McGee in addressing his parents, like McGoo and Probalicious. McGee was so happy his parents and sister were finally in the city together."

"You should have heard him Gibbs, seen the look on his face when he told me that his father said how proud he was of him and how he handled his position of authority and the respect he obviously earned from his coworkers. Then, the about three days later when he came in he looked so destroyed!"

"He told me all about it. He was so humiliated Gibbs! I didn't believe it at first but we both went thru the paths of the emails and all roads led right back to Tony. That's when I had remembered."

"One day in my lab Tony was listening to me talk about McGee's family visiting and how nice I found them, really pleasant to have around and that even Vance had spoken with them and complimented McGee to them. A couple of us were there and heard him. Tony just looked at me and made a sarcastic comment about how it must be nice to have perfect parents."

"Tony just glared left. He was so mad he didn't look where he was going and ran into someone in the hall. I don't know who. Then Tony left on that trip to England and the emails started right after he got back. I know it was then because I checked his arrival time and he had gotten back the day before."

"It was too much Gibbs. As much as I liked Tony, he lost my respect and friendship then and there. I'm sorry in a way he's gone but not really. I know that's not what you want to hear but that's the way it is. A lot of other people are glad he's gone too. He was going off the deep end towards the end pranking lots of people with emails. It had to stop." Here, Abby stopped her story and looked at Gibbs.

"Did McGee try to talk to Tony about it?" was all Gibbs asked.

"Yes. By the time they talked we had traced all the emails. Tony denied it all, saying only that it wasn't him because he wasn't feeling well and hadn't been on his computer since before he left. He even suggested that someone else planted the emails with his address. What a lame excuse! We checked!"

"McGee confronted him with that information but Tony still denied it. I personally checked, Gibbs; I wouldn't have believed it otherwise."

"Then Ziva told Tony that the things he said in his emails to her regarding Damon and Somalia were cruel and petty and that while she was grateful to him for helping rescue her nothing he said would ever change her mind or feelings for Damon and this only proved her choice was the best one she could make."

"Then she told Tony she didn't want him contacting her again. McGee said pretty much the same thing; that it was obvious that Tony would never give him the respect he had earned and that was Tony's problem, not his anymore." Abby took a breath.

"And Tony? What did he say thru all this?" was all Gibbs quietly asked.

"Well, nothing until McGee and Ziva were done. "He was silent for a moment then he told them that he gave his solemn word that he never sent any emails. Tim and Ziva just shook their heads. Tim actually said that Tony's word was worthless as far as he was concerned and the matter was closed. Tim and Ziva left."

"And how did you hear all this Abby? You weren't there." Gibbs asked.

"I was nearby but stayed out of sight and listened. There were others with me. Palmer was one. I just didn't want to talk to Tony, Gibbs. He hurt a lot of people, me included! Honestly I would never have thought he was capable of doing this if I hadn't investigated it myself and that as a result he had lost any respect I had for him and I didn't feel we could be friends anymore. I can't be friends with someone I don't respect."

Abby looked a little nervous when she continued. "McGee didn't go to you; no one did because everyone knows how you are about Tony so Tim didn't think it would do him any good. He talked to Vance about transferring."

"Vance was shocked and wanted to know why. After McGee told him the director talked him out of the request and said that he would resolve the issue once and for all; that Tim was too valuable to the team. He was needed to take the team into the future."

"Then Vance called Ziva then myself and talked to us about the emails. After a day or so he called us three back into his office and told us that he had confirmed with others that Tony had been harassing fellow agents and that he had crossed the line so far there was no going back. Then he told us he had called Tony and fired him. He even ordered Tony to not step foot on the grounds or he would be arrested for trespassing…."

"And this made you happy, Abbs?" Gibbs was close to exploding.

"NO it did not make me happy just like it didn't make me happy to find out that someone I thought of as a friend could be so cruel and hateful! THIS is why no one talked to you! You always take Tony's side!"

"Always? You have a short memory Abby! And yes, I am taking Tony's side, or more importantly HIS WORD; when have you known Tony to give his word and not mean it?"

"Oh Gibbs, you just don't want to face it! Tony's jealousy and insecurities have become too much for him to handle! Tremain is smart, funny and not cruel like Tony! Tim feels great not having to give the cliff notes about whatever he did with his computer to Tony then have Tony use the info Tim came up with and get the credit. I know how that feels to be surrounded by people who don't get it. It's nice to be understood!"

"And you think you understand and know everything about Tony, Abbs?"

"I'm sure I don't Gibbs but that's not the point…" Gibbs interrupted.

"And how far would McGee have gotten in the beginning if all that was considered important was computer literacy? How long do you think McGee would have lasted in the field without someone of _experience_ show him the subtle things that are crucial to any investigation?"

Abby retorted: "I know those things are very important Gibbs but how many cases would have been solved without McGee's mad computer skills? And you taught him the other things. All Tony seemed to do was haze him and embarrass him!"

"I taught him everything? Tony worked with him the most, not me. It was TONY in his position as Senior Field Agent who convinced me to give McGee a chance on the team! And you've known him longer. You should know by now how important his word is to him. That's why he almost never gives it!" Gibbs glared at her and they were both breathing hard.

Abby exclaimed: "Oh, it's no use!" With that Abby stopped speaking, the sheen of unshed tears in her eyes showing her distress at the current conversation.

Gibbs just looked at his former forensic scientist for a few moments then wordlessly bent down and very gently placed a chaste kiss on her check. Then he straightened up and said: "I'm sorry it has to turn out this way Abs; be good." And with that Gibbs turned and walked back to his car and drove away leaving Abby upset and blaming Tony for everything.

Hearing the key turn in the lock Ducky looked up from the book he was reading and waited. When Gibbs appeared and looked around Ducky hastened to reassure his friend that all was well.

"It's quite all right Jethro, Anthony is still sleeping quietly. How did things go at headquarters. Were you able to talk to Abby and Mr. Palmer about our plan of action? Jethro? What is it old friend." Ducky asked when he saw the expression on Gibbs face at the mention of Abby.

Gibbs looked around then slowly sat on the couch next to Ducky and wearily rubbed the palms of his hands over his eyes and sighed. After a moment of looking at nothing Gibbs turned to Ducky and related the events of the morning.

There was a shocked silence following the end of the tale and Ducky felt his friends pain in his heart. He was stunned by Abby's reaction. "Did you talk to Mr. Palmer and find out if he feels the same?" was all Ducky could think to ask.

"No Duck, didn't see him and after I was fired. I wasn't given the chance to find him and ask and after Abby I'm not sure that's such a good idea. I just…." Gibbs never finished his sentence because just then they both heard a low moan and spun around in time to see Tony sliding to the floor, his eyes fixed on Gibbs.

"No, no, no, no…." was all Tony kept saying softly as he landed on the floor in a boneless heap. "No boss, God no,, please tell me you weren't fired because of me. Please? I'm not worth it. Oh god, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…." Tony began to slowly hit the back of his head on the wall repeatedly in time to his apologies.

Gibbs and Ducky rushed over to him and Gibbs pulled Tony away from the wall in an embrace while Ducky prepared a syringe. Gibbs held Tony in a firm embrace trying to sooth him until the sedative began to work.

"Listen to me DiNozzo, first I was fired as part of Vance's modernization program. Second, you are worth it and more to me. Do you hear me DiNozzo? You are worth a lot to me. You are family. You are my incorrigible younger brother dammit! You are the one person above all that I trust with my life and the lives of my friends."

Gibbs tried to continue but all Tony could do was keep shaking his head no. "No boss, you can't. Tim, Ziva and Abby were right. I'm a screw up. But you shouldn't pay for it!" Tony voice was still almost empty of emotion but his grief for Gibbs came thru loud and clear. "You have so much to give and there are so many you could help. Not like me…"

Finally, Ducky leaned down and looked at Tony and demanded in stern voice: "Anthony! Look at me. NOW!" Both Gibbs and Tony looked at Ducky in surprise.

Ducky knelt down and firmly but gently grabbed Tony's upper arms and looked at him intensely.

"Now Anthony I want you to listen to me and listen carefully. Then I want an answer; truthfully now. Do you understand?" All Tony could do was nod yes.

"Good. Now, we know about the conversation you had with Timothy and Ziva about your alleged actions. Yes?" Again Tony nodded yes.

"Good. Now. I want you to look both Jethro and I in the eyes and tell us-did you do it?" Tony shook his head and all he could say was: "Why Ducky, it won't make any differ….."

Ducky lightly shook Tony's arms getting him to stop mid-word.

"No Anthony, that is not what I asked. Again, I want you to look both of us in the eye and tell us on your word of honor, on whatever you hold the most dear and precious to you: _Did. You. Do. It?_"

Tony looked down at Ducky's hands on his arms for a moment then looked up into the eyes of the last two friends and mentors he had left. After a short pause charged with unspoken emotion Tony finally replied.

"No Ducky. No boss, I swear to you both on my word of honor I did not do those things. I never sent any emails. I had no idea what was going on until I went to NCIS that day and Vance confronted me. I swear." Tony's was once again trembling when he finished speaking and looked at both men waiting for them to accept or reject his word. He wasn't aware of it but both his hope and hopelessness was written in his eyes for the world to see.

The man who had hidden behind so many masks his whole life was now exposed for all to see.

Ducky nodded his head as soon as Tony stopped speaking and replied "Good. Well, now then let's get you back to bed." Gibbs and Ducky both made to help Tony up off the floor but DiNozzo was seemingly paralyzed in place, looking at both men with his mouth open and his eyes showing confusion.

"Good? That's it? Good. You believe me just like that? Both of you?" Tony couldn't take it in and just sat there stunned.

"Yes, Anthony we do. We have worked with you far to long to believe otherwise. In fact if you were that kind of man it would have come out much, much sooner rather than now. I really don't think Jethro would have brought you to NCIS if there was the slightest hint of the base behavior exhibited lately."

"You have acted and do act impulsively and childishly and yes you can be annoying but never cruel. Your empathy is one of your best qualities only for some reason you feel the need to hide it most of the time." Ducky's voice was matter-of-fact and Gibbs was willing to sit back and let Ducky take the lead.

"And you have demonstrated over the years how valuable your solemn word is to you therefore you almost never give it. And whatever it is that you hold most sacred and dear…" Ducky paused when Tony looked him and Gibbs in the eyes.

"Your respect and belief in me." was all he whispered.

Gibbs and Ducky were silent for a moment each greatly touched by Tony's admission. Then Ducky became business-like when he spoke again.

"Come now Anthony it is time for bed. And by the way could you tell me how you came by those bruises on your torso, upper arms and legs that I saw? I can tell they are healing nicely and also that they are at least a week and a half old. What happened dear boy?"

At those words Gibbs looked at Tony sharply and said: "Bruises? What happened DiNozzo."

"Now, now Jethro let's not pressure the lad into telling something he is not ready to but Anthony you must realize by now I most sincerely hope that we only mean the best for you and are trying to help."

"I know Ducky, boss, really I do, it's just that, well," Tony paused for a minute then sighed and once more laying his head on his knees told what happened.

"A couple of days after I left NCIS I became stir crazy here and went out for a drink to try and get away from my thoughts for a while. I forgot the bar I usually go to is a cop bar. They took exception to my presence."

"A couple of guys told me to go somewhere else. I said no. They started to push me around. I pushed back. That's when a couple of agents from FBI and NCIS jumped me. I got in a few hits but went down hard. They didn't stop."

"I saw McGee, Ziva, Abby and Tremain sitting there watching. Just watching.

I looked at the people I had thought were my friends. They just stared and snickered. Then the bartender hauled me to me feet and threw me out. Told me don't come back. I wasn't welcome, just in case I didn't get the message the first time."

"Police showed up and arrested me for starting a fight. Took me to booking. Stayed in the holding pen all night. Cops made sure everyone knew I was

ex-law. Didn't get any sleep that night. Did get some more bruises. I was arraigned the next morning and let out on recognizance. Charges were dropped later that week. Bar had my car towed out of their lot onto a side street. It was vandalized. Stripped clean. I got a ticket for abandoning it."

"Been here ever since. Tried to go to a hospital. Yeah, me. Found out what happens when you don't have insurance. Most of the money I had in my emergency fund went to paying for my plane tickets and lodging in England. Denied unemployment because of the reason I was fired. Last check went to pay my fines and tickets."

"I'm living out my security deposit; at least my landlord is somewhat understanding. But still I have to go at the end of the month. I can't think about my bills right now. I just can't think period."

Ducky and Tony were once again stunned speechless. Gibbs thought that some kind of record was made tonight with the amount of times he found himself that way listening to what DiNozzo was telling him.

It was early the next morning when Gibbs and Ducky made another pot of coffee and some more tea and sat at the table to talk.

The rest of the night had been spent taking care of Tony and trying to make sense of everything they had heard. Even after the night had passed they still couldn't believe the way Tony's life had been turned upside down and around. It was as if Tony had stumbled into an evil alternate reality.

"I've got to go to the bar and talk to the bartender and find out exactly what happened. He and Tony were friends! Tony helped him out a couple of times for nothing, just because he needed it. And there was the time Tony covered Fred's half-shift one Saturday so he could go to his son's soccer playoffs. What has happened?" Gibbs said at last.

"Jethro, I must caution you to utilize the utmost caution." Ducky said.

When Gibbs looked at him he continued. "You must remember that you too have been fired and are in all probability facing at least some of the attitudes that Antony has faced. Everyone knows how you continue to champion him. If you do anything that gets you hurt I greatly fear how Anthony will take it. I believe he will blame himself. If that happens there will be no telling what he does. After all you did find him with a gun in his hands when you got here."

"Searched the apartment Duck; found all the weapons." Gibbs grunted.

"If Anthony is distraught enough he won't need a gun or knife. He WILL find a way." Ducky cautioned.

Gibbs was silent for a moment, realizing the truth of his friends words.

"Alright Duck, I promise I won't take any unnecessary chances or start anything. I just need some answers!" With that Gibbs left.

A short time later Gibbs parking in front of Shooter's, the bar where Tony had been hurt and humiliated. He pushed open the door and waited for his eyes to adjust to the dimmer light.

A bartender was standing over by some tables looking at Gibbs, who recognized him as Gabe, the man Tony had helped.

Gibbs walked over to him as was immediately struck by the unwelcome look on his face and his hostile stance.

"Don't bother Gibbs. DiNozzo got what he's had coming for a long time and I meant it-he's not welcome here. And by the way neither are you!" Gabe spat out.

"Really?" Gibbs replied mildly. Gabe continued to stare at him and at that moment Gibbs felt more than saw other patrons beginning to approach in that stealthy way that signaled trouble.

"All I want is to find out exactly what happened and why Tony is so unwelcome. You certainly welcomed his help a few times in the past and Tony was glad to give it no strings attached. And by the way tell whoever is trying to sneak up behind me that's not a very good idea." Gibbs said, still using a mild tone of voice which would have warned anyone who knew him to beware.

"What happened is DiNozzo went too far and hurt some good people with his stupid behavior! People who are better both as people and as agents than he is. I'll tell you what Gibbs, he's jealous! That's what he is! Jealous and insecure! A great combo for a grown man who is supposed to be mature and reliable enough for his position."

"So what if I let him help me, he offered; I never asked the showoff. And my patron's can go wherever they want!"

Gabe took a breath, as much to steady the slight nervous shiver that suddenly overtook him as to continue speaking, then continued. "And everyone knows your done too old man! Finished. No one has to put up with your bastard personality anymore. There was a hell of a party here the night DiNozzo got his ass kicked and NCIS was right in the middle of it!"

While Gabe had been ranting to Gibbs several patrons had continued to move closer but stopped just out of reach. Despite all the bluster and bravado Gabe and the others were showing Gibbs could tell they were nervous of him in spite of their best efforts.

Remembering his promise to Ducky and responsibility to Tony Gibbs managed to hold on to his temper, but only just and it showed.

Finally looking around Gibbs recognized the three men who surrounded him as members of other law enforcement branches. Looking further into the bar he noted that others sitting around had the grace to look somewhat ashamed of what was happening. But no matter what shame they might be feeling Gibbs knew there would be no help for him when he was jumped. And he would be jumped, of that he was certain.

Gibbs looked steadily with a cold, steely stare at the three closest to him and despite their best intentions they found themselves backing off. This only served to inflame their anger even more and after a short, frozen pause one guy rushed Gibbs and the other two followed.

Unfortunately for them they had telegraphed their intentions and Gibbs was more than ready. When the first guy was close enough Gibbs surprised him by stepping into his attack and grabbing the attackers left wrist with his right hand. With this grip Gibbs gave a twist of his wrist and the attacker found himself spun around with his arm twisted painfully behind him, his back to Gibbs and his neck in a choke hold.

In this manner he became a human shield and the other two stopped dead in their tracks and looked stunned. The whole process took about 10 seconds and everything and everyone stood still trying to figure out what to do now.

"Stand down boys, the police are on their way. Unprovoked attacks on peaceful bar patrons is against the law and big shot Gibbs is going to find out the hard way just exactly what all of law enforcement thinks of him, just like his pet boy

DiNozzo did." The voice that spoke belonged to an FBI agent that Gibbs and especially Tony had repeatedly butted heads with over the years.

"Yeah, and so is filing a false police report, covering up evident of an assault and, oh, a couple of other things I can think of Caudwell."

The FBI agent who had spoken first spun around at the new voice and gaped in surprise at the unexpected arrival.

"Now, how about everyone go about whatever it was you were doing. Caudwell, be seeing you later. Gibbs why don't you come with me."

Dr. Donald Mallard was not a nervous man nor did he consider himself completely ignorant in the ways of the world. He was very capable of believing the depths that humanity could sink to. In his long and varied career, most of which was classified and would have stunned most of those who thought they knew him, he had come face to face with both the lowest depths and the greatest heights man was capable of.

But as he sat in Tony's quiet apartment looking at his charge sleep and thinking back on all that had happened to him in one short month and knowing Jethro faced the same danger at the hands of his supposed former friends and colleagues he found himself very worried indeed.

It was inconceivable to him the manner in which Anthony was turned on by those he thought of as friends. He was also deeply worried about Anthony's reaction if Jethro somehow did get hurt. Jethro too, what would be his reaction if he found himself as betrayed as Anthony?

The man Ducky had met when he started at NCIS had slowly evolved over the years. He doubted that anyone would believe that the man they all knew now was actually far more mellow than the man who started out as Mike Franks' probie.

That metamorphous had been Anthony's doing without Anthony even being aware of it. No, Anthony still thought deep down that he needed to prove himself to Gibbs every day just to prove that hiring him, standing by him and believing in him hadn't been a mistake.

After a while Anthony began to awaken. Ducky was there in the room for him when he did. There was no way he was going to let Anthony wake up to more emptiness than was already in himself. Ducky was determined to let him know by any means necessary that he had friends left who believed in him.

"Boss?" Tony groggily called out to the room.

"No my dear boy, it is I, Ducky. Jethro went out to run errands and get some of that delicious Chinese soup for you." Ducky replied.

Tony looked at Ducky for a few moments in a slightly disorientated fashion and Ducky could tell the exact moment when he remembered everything that had happened to him by the look in his usually expressive eyes. Disorientation and a slightly questing gaze steadily faded to a flat, empty expression, much like the inexorable shifting of sand in an hourglass.

Keeping his disquiet to himself Ducky elected to project his usual demeanor.

"Now dear boy, you have had quite the rest and I very much expect that you would most assuredly appreciate a nice, hot shower and some clean clothes. So I have prepared your towels and such. Let me help you to the bathroom where you may clean up and perform your preferred ablutions."

"In case you need me I shall be in the kitchen making a pot of tea for us both. Then if you would like I shall help you to the couch and perhaps there will be some wonderful, old movie we would both like to watch together until Jethro returns with dinner."

As he spoke Ducky had been helping Tony up and out of the bed and into the bathroom. When he was ready to shower Ducky left the room and went into the kitchen. Even though he made sure to make enough noise to convince Tony that he was indeed puttering around in reality he was listening to the sounds from the bathroom.

Ducky let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding when he finally heard the water running. He made the pot of tea and looked thru the DVD's to find several possibilities to choose from.

Finally Tony came into the living room freshly showered, shaved and dressed but still that heartbreaking dull, empty look in his eyes. Ducky was struck again by how broken he looked. Everyone had their breaking point and it looked as if after all the murderers, terrorists, bombers, kidnappers, child abusers, gang members, drug dealers, political game playing and all the friends and fellow agents killed in the line of duty Tony's breaking point was caused by his biological relatives (Ducky WOULD NOT dignify them with the appellation of family!) and his friends.

Tony and Ducky agreed to a movie, or rather Ducky suggested and Tony just sat there, and they watched it in silence while drinking tea. Ducky was heartened to see Tony drink two cups. That was the most he had had of anything since Ducky had been there.

The movie ended and Jethro still had not returned. Ducky suggested seeing if there was anything on TV and so they channel surfed, although it was very slow since Ducky was the one surfing. After another hour Jethro still hadn't come back or called and Ducky was becoming very nervous indeed. Especially since Tony had noticed how long Gibbs was absent and was becoming agitated about his absence.

"What is it Ducky? What errands did Gibbs have to do?" Tony asked finally, nervously twisting the lap robe that Ducky had placed over him. Ducky was spared the necessity of answering when they heard the key in the lock and Gibbs came through the open door with Chinese takeout in his arms and a neutral expression on his face.

"Sorry I took so long Duck, Tony. Got caught up. I'll get plates and bowls. We'll eat in there. " Gibbs went into the kitchen and dished up the food while both men waited in the living room.

After the food was eaten and everything cleaned up Gibbs sat back down on the couch and a short, strained silence follow before Tony broke it.

"What errands Gibbs?" was all he asked in a quiet voice.

Gibbs studied him for a few moments contemplating how and what to say. Tony deserved and needed total honesty from his friends and family no matter how hard it would be. His whole world had ceased to exist because of lies and evasions.

Gibbs would be damned to hell before he added himself to the list of those who had done that to Tony. But that didn't mean that he couldn't try to give him the truth a little less painfully. Besides, he himself was still reeling from his disastrously successful quest for enlightenment.

Finally he sighed and answered Tony's question.

"Went to Shooter's to talk to the bartender. Wanted to try and find out exactly what had happened and why everyone is so against you." Gibbs sighed again and looked uncharacteristically lost for a moment before straightening up and continuing.

"And me too apparently." At that short, quiet statement Tony looked devastated and Ducky slowly shook his head sadly.

Gibbs proceeded to tell them what had happened from the time he left until the intervention that had interrupted the fight.

"Who helped you Jethro?" Ducky asked quietly.

"Fornell." Everyone was silent for a moment thinking about that then Gibbs continued.

"He took me to his house and we talked for a couple of hours about everything. Fornell showed me some of the emails he had printed out and saved."

"Tony, Tobias said to tell you that even though you could be a jackass he doesn't believe for a moment that you sent those. It's just not your style. He said you were no coward. You ever have a beef with anyone you always took it up face to face, right or wrong." Gibbs looked Tony in the eyes when he passed Fornell's message along.

All Tony could do was duck his head and close his eyes at the sudden rush of emotion that message created. Of everyone he knew he would have never thought that Fornell would have believed him. He felt uncharacteristically humbled.

"Also there are more who don't really believe it but don't know what is happening so they prefer to keep their heads down and out of whatever line of fire is going on."

"Jethro, just what exactly is going on and what happened to you? How are you tied up in all this?" Ducky pondered.

"I support Tony and everyone knows it. That's what caused the problems with the rest of the team in the first place. Why they never came to me. But something there is not right. I can't place my finger on it just yet but the way McGee and Ziva and even Abby made their minds up against Tony without ever even trying to talk to me about it is just off…."

"Abigail? She also believes these ridiculous lies?" A startled Ducky asked.

"Abby? Abs? She believes I did it too?" Tony asked in one of the most dispirited and heartbroken voice Gibbs and Ducky had ever heard.

"Yea. Talked to her on the day I was fired. Just haven't had a chance to tell you yet."

"Oh dear" was all the deeply saddened Scotsman could murmur. Tony said nothing at all.

"It was the perfect opportunity for Vance to get rid of me at the same time. Now he is free to mold NCIS anyway he sees fit. Out with the old and obsolete and in with the shiny new." Gibbs said somewhat bitterly.

"And McGee is right in the thick of it. He's probably feeling like he's in techno speak heaven."

Everyone was silent for a while after Gibbs had finished. More coffee and tea were made and consumed by Gibbs and Ducky while Tony just played with his. Each was lost to their own thoughts.

Finally Gibbs looked at Tony and spoke.

"Gave things a lot of thought on the way here after speaking to Fornell. I can always retire and have income from my pension from NCIS as well as insurance thru the VA system so I'm covered. Or get unemployment while I look around and maybe consult; been asked a time or two to help other departments train their people; hone their techniques."

"You need time to recover from everything you've learned over the last month. No one could find out all that then walk into the situation you did at work and NOT need to recover. You have a future, DiNozzo, just maybe not the one you thought you had."

"Don't think so boss. Just don't think I have it in me anymore. I don't know if I have anything in me anymore" was all Tony replied softly.

"What, you think you're done? Finished? You think they broke you?" Gibbs barked and Tony nodded yes.

Taking a deep breath Gibbs prepared to share one of his most painful memories and experiences.

"This is hard for me to say Tony but you deserve it. You stood by me thru that mess with Mexico and the Reynosa cartel. And you know why they had a vendetta against me."

"When I got the news of Shannon and Kelly's deaths I didn't know what I was doing, all I knew was a grief and pain so great all I could do was try to deny and outrun it. And in trying to do that I ran right into danger and saved a lot of lives. That's why I was awarded the silver star and that's also why I never wear it. I never earned it. I got it for all the wrong reasons."

"I stayed in a coma because I couldn't face life alone. I couldn't face the truth. What happened to my family broke me Tony, I broke, I reached the end of my ability to endure. I didn't want to survive. Everyone has their limit, everyone." Gibbs stressed.

"You know what I did when I came back and still that wasn't enough because now I had a memory of committing an act that I know would have made Shannon ashamed of me. I shamed her memory and that knowledge is what I carry with me everyday."

Gibbs clenched and unclenched his hands and cleared his throat before continuing.

"It isn't your spirit or mind or heart being broke that's important. That doesn't make you a failure. It's how you recover from it that makes or breaks you forever. And I know you will recover DiNozzo. You're a fighter. But even fighters need time to themselves to recover from the last fight and get ready for the next."

"So you are going to move in with me. You can't stay here, you said it yourself. I have plenty of room so your things will fit in fine. There will be enough for you to do to around the house to help out so you will be pulling your weight. And when you recover enough I know you will find a job, just be sure it's right for you, not just something you feel pressured into getting so you can start making money again."

Tony started to say something but Gibbs interrupted him. "Just one more thing then you can talk and I can go back to being a functioning mute."

"You will not be a burden. You will not be in the way. I will not regret this. I have faith in you. The same kind you have in me. I want you to do this for those reasons but also for one more. The most important one."

"You are family. My family. And Jack agrees."

"Jack?" Startled, Tony stared at Gibbs when he said that.

"Yea, Jack. That's partly why I'm so late. I called him after talking to Fornell. Told him everything that happened. He said to tell you welcome to the family. After you get settled at home we are going to Stillwater for a visit. Fornell said he would keep an eye on the place for us. So let's get you packed up and moved today so we can get to Stillwater. Jack said to hurry up and he meant it!"

For a long while all Tony could do was look at Gibbs and Ducky with a sheen of tears in his eyes making them look like green glass and a look of confusion and disbelief on his face. Neither man said anything letting Tony work out for himself what his destiny would be. Both could tell exactly when Tony made up his mind by the changing look on his face but most importantly in his eyes.

The heartbreaking pain and grief were still there but for the first time that weekend Gibbs and Ducky saw a glimmer of acceptance of the changing circumstances. It was weak and almost nonexistent but it was there.

Both men hoped fervently that with time Tony would find the strength to not only battle thru this latest, traumatic situation but that he would also begin at least to believe that he did indeed have true friends and family and that he had worth.

Gibbs was certainly going to try his best to convince him of just that while they faced an uncertain future together the way that real families do.

_FIN_


End file.
